Doubts and fears continued their rule over me. Rejection. Embarrassment. Inappropriate behavior in a new phase of life. I turned something as simple as romantic interest into an epic duel with myself.
In order to improve my odds at victory, I enlisted the help of one of my first mighty lists.
Helpful as some were, early ones were not. I had no idea what I wanted in life at the time. And a list of characteristics and traits of a person does no good when those characteristics and traits are not what you truly want in a person. Furthermore, logic was the last thing I needed to navigate emotional terrain. Justifying a relationship with someone using a list was, for me, forcing something not meant to be.
I didn’t want to be alone.